12 years later, I am returning to Russia.
Just for a little bit, I will be returning to my fairytale forests, to my old summer house filled with flowers, to my beautiful grandparents.
I can’t believe that I will be back there. To this day, I dream about my childhood in Russia… at least once a week. I dream about running bare feet on the grass and riding my bike through the sunlit forests in the countryside. I dream about the little attic I used to sleep in, where I read a thousand fantasy books, wrote a thousand stories and painted a thousand pictures.
You might wonder… if I loved it so much, why didn’t I visit sooner?
I ask myself the same thing. My mindset is: “keep moving forward and don’t look back”. I kept telling myself that I have no reason to go. No reason to revisit my past. I was also telling myself flights are “too expensive”, yet I was traveling all over Europe, avoiding Russia?! The reality is, I was, and still am scared to come back. I want it to remain the same as in my memories. But I know it most likely will be different.
I am leaving next week, and it feels surreal. I don’t know if I will share photos publicly of this trip yet. But if I do… I hope you’ll be able to feel the magic.